Friday, April 30, 2010


In the days when my blog was in its initial stages of growth, I was a lot confused on the way it was forming out. Desperate to get a few readers, I send out the link to a few close friends of mine.

I was under the impression that they would have never even bothered to check. As time passed, I grew in confidence and I totally forgot about the initial struggle and happily went on writing about people I met. That too with the impression that they would never find out.

Recently I found out that the people who knows the real Jon has increased. So it calls for a more discretion and carefulness from my side.

Really? Chaining people’s thoughts in the name of discretion is a great cruelty . So I have decided to go on being Jon as long as I write.

Humans are social animals. But many a times this society chains us within its boundaries. If you dare to break those chains, you are a social outcaste.

I met a friend of mine. He is getting married to the girl he loved. We were talking about ll the wonderful beaches he could go for a honeymoon. He sighed, ‘Dude, what is the point in hitting beaches after getting married’. For him beaches are for young ones without any cares. Now he is frightened that all the guys out there will be gawking at his beau.

Monday, April 26, 2010

The Formulae

What is the conspiracy behind putting this one down? Well I am in quest of the secret behind the success of movies typical in South India- termed as the ‘superstar’ movies.

There are four categories of languages which fall under the ‘South Indian Movies’- Malayalam, Tamil, Telugu and Kannada. Of this I will exclude Malayalam from the discussion.

I have watched a lot of Tamil, a few Telugu and two Kannada movies. I doubt my depth of knowledge to write this. But since I have full rights to this space, I go on.

And in these three categories, there is a special genre- ‘superstar’ movies. Superstars are human super heroes who occupy the screen for 90% of movie time. The wow the audience with punch dialogues, histrionics and most of all the fights.

All the movies would be of the same mould. But you will find lakhs of fans for these stars and every movie will be a hit. The typical movie would be in the following format:

The hero would be a college kid (starring a 40 year old superstar) or a common goon with a golden heart. The movie opens with a bunch of menacing villains with funny sideburns chasing a girl. The hero would appear unarmed. He will single handedly beat down all the evil guys and the song starts.

The super hero will have a bunch of cronies surrounding him. They provide the humour element in the film. The hero will have to save these cronies from the clutches of villains from time to time. Most probably one of them will die, flaring up the wrath of our hero.

After many Song-fight sequence villain will die ultimately. What makes these movies from each other is the hairdo, the female lead, the bikes and ultimately the shortness of item girl’s dress (or limited dress edition).

The funniest thing is the importance of female characters in these movies. The success of female heroines depends on the number of superstar movies they get. They don’t have much role in these movies. Just dress up in good clothes and cry when hero gets beaten. The typical example is the South Indian sensation, Sriya, who acted with the superstar Rajni in a movie. She had no role in the movie but to showcase the curves. But she catapulted to No.1 position soon after.

If the lead female character is a simple and petite girl there is no scope for anything glamorous. So there will be a ‘modern’ girl drooling after the hero, even if he doesn’t give a damn. The second girl will be voluptuous, eager to show off the cleavage and uses the shortest skirts to cover up the fat thighs.

There will be a variety of graphic sexual innuendos like comparing the girl to some fruit and lick, suck and eat the fruit. Mind you the girl will be enjoying it immensely. To provide the icing there will be item dance where the lyrics will be sexual garbage in the dirtiest form and the dancer will get an orgasm on the slightest touch from the ‘superstar’.

Everything ends well when the ‘superstar’ gets the simple and petite girl.

So my question is what is the element that sparks passion in crores of movie lovers in Southern India? What is the secret formula that churns out hits after hits year after year? What attracts the women to these movies where women are treated as sex dolls? How come kids gets to watch these movies where the element of sex oozes out?

Friday, April 23, 2010

Guilty/Innocent Tag

An extremely beautiful friend of mine tagged me and I am obliged to accept and here goes

The rules of the game:RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this.The Questions

1. Asked someone to marry you? Innocent

2. Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty

3. Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent

4. Ever told a lie? Guilty

5. Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty

6. Kissed a picture? Guilty

7. Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent

8. Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty

9. Held a snake? Innocent

10. Been suspended from school? Guilty

11. Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent

12. Stolen from a store? Innocent

13. Been fired from a job? Innocent

14. Done something you regret? Guilty

15. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty

16. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent

17. Kissed in the rain? Innocent

18. Sat on a roof top? Guilty

19. Kissed someone you shouldn't? Innocent

20. Sang in the shower? Guilty

21. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent

22. Shaved your head? Innocent

23. Had a boxing membership? Innocent

24. Made a boyfriend/Girlfriend cry? Innocent

25. Been in a band? Innocent

26. Shot a gun? Guilty

27. Donated Blood? Innocent

28. Eaten alligator meat? Innocent

29.Eaten cheesecake? Guilty

30. Still love someone you shouldn’t? Guilty

31. Have/had a tattoo? Guilty

32. Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty

33. Been too honest? Guilty

34. Ruined a surprise? Innocent

35. Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Guilty

36. Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty

37. Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty

38. Joined a pageant? Innocent

39.Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty

40. Had communication with your ex? Innocent

41.Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent

42. Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty

Well I would tag
Cool Sun

And thank you Ms.Beautiful

Thursday, April 22, 2010


A few years ago, Indian roads were filled with Ambassadors, Marutis and Premier Padminis. In fact Ambassador was an Indian Ambassador on road. I still love the car for its gigantism.
Then more foreign players came into the battle ground. Small and sleek cars appeared on the roads. Slowly our old warriors became the endangered species. Today it’s rare to see the old cars and the people who own them will either be poor or eccentric.

Today you get a wide variety of cool-looking options. Affordability is not a question today. If you have the desire in you, loans are easily available. The only side effect is you will have to toil a lifetime away closing these ‘easy’ loans.

I have this cousin of mine who is huge in dimensions (lengthwise and breadthwise). He got married to a girl who is much younger and smaller (lengthwise and breadthwise). In order to compensate the mismatch in dimensions, his father-in-law gave him a huge SUV as bribe/gift/dowry/inheritance.

Coming back to the point a friend and colleague of mine brought a costly car recently. It is cool looking and a status symbol. Besides he is planning to get married and he ought to show the people around that he is rich enough to afford a family.

But I seriously doubt if he has given a serious thought on the number of years he will have to spend repaying the loan? The fun element is he would have already paid double the cost of car by the time loan closes.

The increase in private cars on Indian roads is causing huge impact on health and environment. The Indian infrastructure is unable to afford these many number of vehicles. The Indian urban middle class has forgotten the art of walking. Our low level of civic sense makes the roads extremely dangerous too.
So is really worth it?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Movie of the Week- Far From Heaven

I was glad I picked up this movie- ‘Far from Heaven’. Julian Moore, Dennis Haysbert and Dennis Quaid stars in the movie.
You would be surprised about the way world functioned and thought a few decades ago. Things have changed a lot. So a familiar argument comes to mind. Is human civilization in the process of evolution to attain perfection? In other words is the world we live in better than the one yesterday?
The movie is taken at a time when the perfect American family consisted of an executive husband, two sweet kids- one boy, one girl and a beautiful wife (all whites).
The wife functioned as the homemaker. She had the duty to grow cultured and responsible children. They have to be taught the right manners, sent to school. She has to ensure that her husband is neat and presentable. Of course she can indulge in social activities as leisure.
The society ladies walked around in fancy hats and fur coats. They did social work and talked about rights for the colored. But the coloreds are to be kept at a distance in their own places. Sex was a naughty subject talked in hushed tones. Parties will be held to showcase the houses, furniture, children and the black servants employed. Black rights were seen as a namesake social mission carried out with the faith that it will never materialize. Gays were considered less than men.
So the Whitaker family fulfills all the norms and has been a model family to everyone around. Mr. Whitaker is the manager of a company. She appears regularly in the society ladies’ magazines. They have well furnished home and a black servant.
The calm and peaceful atmosphere crumbles slowly as Mr. Whitaker turns into an alcoholic. He is caught by the police. She learns that her husband is a homosexual. They opt for a treatment hoping for the miracle of conversion to heterosexuality. But sadly it brings no change in him except he turns more morose and drunk. He leaves her for another guy. She looks around for comfort and draws closer to a black widower. They are met with hostile reaction from the people of both the race. The black man’s daughter is attacked and he flees the city. She is forced to stand on her own feet as she loses her husband, his income and the familiar circle of friends.
I have no hesitation in saying that the settings are beautiful except for the leaves that had an artificial look. The film can be a bit lengthy. The screenplay turns the king once again as many poignant moments is churned out. The scene in which her husband asks for divorce, the people staring at the black and white couple walking together and the moment in which she has to stand on her own feet are some of the brilliantly enacted ones.
I always wonder what if I was living in a different, intolerant world?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Movie of the week- The Constant Gardener

After having to watch average and below average flicks this one proved to be a great relief.
I had seen The Constant Gardener in IMDB top lists. I had the impression that it would be a slow classic. I was about to be proved wrong when I picked the DVD up.
The movie is well shot and very well edited. I am a believer in the old school of thought that screen play is the life giving breath to the movie. And for CG screenplay deserves at least 9/10.
The cinematography is breath taking. The camera takes us through the cruel, vast and barren landscapes of Africa leaving us in a bit of pain.

The movie is so tightly edited that it moves with a frantic pace. But still the screenplay holds its ground. The way in which the protagonist’s doubt in his wife’s fidelity is transformed to faith and strong love is portrayed very well. This wouldn’t have happened if the screenplay had not gelled well with the pace.
The ‘evil corporation’ story line has always been the favorite of Hollywood. But an ordinary director would find it difficult to tie up the loose ends. In CG no bad mistakes were done.

The story in short: Tessa (
Rachel Weisz) is brutally murdered in suspicious circumstances in Africa. Her diplomat husband, Justin Quayle (Ralph Fiennes), is convinced by every one that she was raped and murdered by her black boyfriend. He is forced to believe it until slowly unearths the evidence. He has to fight the powerful Foreign Office figures, warlords and powerful pharmaceuticals until he avenges his wife. He pieces together the jigsaw puzzle and unearths the evil scheme of a pharmaceutical giant. Tessa and her black colleague were trying to reveal their evil intentions.
The film portrays the exploitation of African population by the powerful corporations and the convenient silence/help provided by their governments.
Rachel shines in the role of seductive and at the same time angry activist. Ralph also does justice to his role as a laid back and later persistent husband seeking the truth.

The Hollywood comes up with critical movies on the failed policies in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Vietnam etc. But it beats me why don’t we have such kind in mainstream Indian film about critical issues on exploitation? Who are to blame- Government, Censor Board, Intelligentsia or the people?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Love thy country

Alarmingly, I don’t feel any sense of grief or loss or patriotism when I read about 72 jawans gunned down by Maoists. Where has my patriotism disappeared?

I have to buy a medicine every three months and you won’t believe it, the price has doubled in a year. As soon as the Finance Minister announces the budget, the newspapers claim the price of medicine is going to go down. I have never seen that happen.

The price of food products has been going up without a halt for the past 6 years.

The cost of transportation has tripled in the last 5-6 years.

So who should I feel patriotic about? A government who is only bothered to bring down the price of electronic goods? A government who encourages black marketeers an hoarders? Or the stupid people who re-elect the same people again and again?

At least Maoists are fighting for a better society!

One packet of wild oats

The crowd in our office is very young. The average age would range in mid 30s. So I get to see women in different stages of pregnancy. Planning to get pregnant, just pregnant, peak of pregnancy and past pregnancy.
I am not expert in the delicate matters of pregnancy. But I notice that mothers lose hair, get fat around the midriff etc. on these periods. Unless you are strong willed, you will not be able to get back your old figure.
I wonder the insecurity a lady might feel during these periods. She might live under constant fear of her husband going around spilling his wide oats.
God should have been fair to women too. Why don’t they get any wild oats to spill?

Monday, April 5, 2010

Infynite Justice

There was a time when the intelligentsia and media of the country claimed that our biggest curse is the labour unions. They were good enough only to call strikes and disrupt work. That was the reason why we were industrially backward.
So when the IT boom happened labour unions were kept out of the scene. The government also flexed its muscles to help these new age firms. The young employee was taught the evils of unity. The people around you are evil and would betray you in the first chance. The only solution you have got is to be evil and just mind your own business.
The young employee happily agreed to the terms as he started getting more than what his parents used to earn. Besides the job came along with countless perks.
But as the number of eligible youth got more and more, the new age firms started getting a deeper talent pool to choose from. At last employers became choosers and the bosses started growing fangs.
The recession became a good excuse for these firms to teach their employees ‘who is the boss?’
The last day I got a
youtube link on the talk done by Infosys HR head Nandini Gujrar. I could not believe my ears. The pure disdain and contempt in which she uses the word ‘employee’ is unbelievable. Do not forget the fact that she is the HR head of one f the biggest firms in India. Interestingly, people have commented below the link that she is just a representative for the company and she is just voicing the opinions of her bosses.
Luckily, Infosys employees have been reacting to the anti-employee measures through facebook, twitter, blogs etc. But I doubt the extent to which these measures are effective. Just a threat to fire may quell all these anti-company voices.
Sadly Infosys is considered to be one of the most employee friendly India firms. Just imagine the plight of others. I have been working for 2+ years in this company and the fresher batch with 0 work experience is earning the same salary as us.
But who cares for a person with no voice and rights! We forgot to stand as a unit. We have become too self centered to bother about others.
(Please watch the video and check out for the clown in the end. We were short of sycophants.)

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Secular in thought and deed

I happened to read a post on a blogger being denied accommodation because he was a Muslim. Yes, no matter how hard we try to deny Islamophobia is a reality.

But does Muslims help themselves in this matter. I had the opportunity to study with so many good Muslim friends. I have also read so much on history of Indian Muslims. As we are living in a multi plural society secularism gets a new meaning. By secularism it’s just not enough to let others to live too.

If we believe ours is the only right way, we should keep it to ourselves rather than going around telling others theirs is the wrong one. I have read some Indian history too. Long ago people used to participate in festivals irrespective of the religion. But fundamentalism changed it all. I don’t mean we have got to participate in festivals if it makes us uncomfortable. But simply rejoicing with them matters.

Whenever I get into friendly discussions with my Muslim friends they are desperate to argue that their way is the only right way. I still remember with pain one guy gloating when Dan Brown’s ‘Da Vinci Code’ was released. The stupid guy didn’t have the sensibility to realize that book is against all Semitic religions

Do you think a woman wearing a burqa makes others uncomfortable?

Friday, April 2, 2010

Ode to dreams

The one thing I enjoyed about going to office every morning was three beautiful girls in my bus stop. This may sound silly but ask a single, unmarried guy for whom the life’s little blessings come in this way. Yes, three beautiful ones in the neighborhood will paint his otherwise dull canvas with wild and beautiful dreams.

They were the hot properties of the entire company. So getting to know them was a privilege. Just talking to them would make the guys around go green with envy. Needless to say, when the boys came to know that I was their neighbor their eyes filled up with silent admiration.

The sad part of life is it moves on. For an IT professional he is obliged to jump from company to company seeking higher pay. The ladies have just moved to different location leaving me alone in this dull canvas.

But still I m obliged to pay my respects to them.

Girls, I will miss you all. Unki’s red bright hair, her black and white boyfriends, public romancing will become memories of the past. Nisha’s homely beauty, her perfect curves and most of all her comic false accent were priceless. I confess I hoped to marry you someday (I am quite sure you don’t read my blogs). Priya could be tolerated if she kept her mouth shut. As soon as she opens it I get the feeling of a market. But below the neck she could beat anyone by a mile.

I may remain some irrelevant character in your life. But surely I will miss you all.