Friday, September 24, 2010

Branded for life

Guys and Gals,

Apologies first. I haven’t been able to follow many of your blogs or comments in the past week. I have this trouble in motivating myself. I am very reluctant to pat myself at the back. So for the past one week I have been roaming around feeling like a loser. This happens when you are one among the few in office who haven’t won a recognition/appreciation or when you perform too badly in your guitar classes.

Back to the blog:

My brother got an SMS which was meant to be funny.

A couple breaks up after a long courtship.

The girl goes around saying ‘He is a loser’, ‘He is insensitive’, ‘He has a tough mother’ etc.

The boy goes around saying, ‘Dude, she is a slut’.

Have you noticed our women get branded too easily? Or am I wrong? Some women consciously try to avoid any tasteless tags but some don’t bother at all.

There is a girl in my neighborhood. She has an ordinary face and an extra ordinary figure which she compounds by wearing good clothes. She has a huge number of male friends and regularly hangs out with them. So whenever a talk about her comes up, the aunts would have seen her at multiple places with many guys at a single time.

Another famous figure who’s a victim to the vicious branding is Sania Mirza. She got all the attention because she was a hot number on the court (and off it). I remember she was the most googled person once. As soon as she started losing we branded her as an upstart, undedicated, etc. But wasn’t it too much to expect a Wimbledon from her? Was she wrong in marrying a guy she chose and calling off the engagement with another. Why do we go after her when she broke no law and is a harmless creature?!

I saw a photo of Yuvaraj Singh with a huge paunch and why isn’t anyone after him questioning his dedication?

19 comments:

Susan Deborah said...

John,

First: Hope the temporary gloom has lifted off you and that you are happy. I've been thinking about your posts and here lies the answer.

Indian society is quite harsh when it comes to judging women. Maybe other societies are also like that. The 'normal' everyday woman to the celebrity: All are condoned when it comes to character. It is quite unfair that rules of morality, chastity and character are often only for women. This is because of the women like Sita and others who have raised the levels of the so-called "izzat." We are a country who still have certain ancient norms when it comes to women. The virginity issue rules high in this area. All these issues are exclusive of men, and that is quite sad.

I guess I rambled a bit too much.

Joy always,
Susan

Jon said...

well rambled though!

madamebutterfly said...

Every word you say is true Jon.

When we were getting married we drew up the invitation list - my husband objected to one of the friends I wanted to invite, on the grounds that she had slept with some of his friends. I said OK I wouldn't invite her if he also didn't invite any of the friends of his that she had slept with....I was looking at our wedding photos the other day and see her in the front of many photos toasting us!

RGB said...

It's just the way our culture has groomed us, though many have been breaking away from such conservative beliefs of how women should be or behave. Building a reputation is so difficult, and it hurts when tom, dick or harry can brand you at their whims & fancies!

Vencora said...

Over here we're more lax, but there's still a double standard. I know a handful of well respected and sought after males whose sexual histories would get any woman labled as a slut in a heartbeat.

Jon said...

Hey I miss the boys here:(...y r nt they commenting

Jon said...

@mb...thats very inspirational...guess this is a world wide phenomenon then
@rgb...it's the boys and society that has to change...frankly I dont c much

Jon said...

@vencora :-)

BK Chowla, said...

Indian society still maintains double standards and the definition of decency and character is idiotically spelt out by men, most of them cant match up the character and standards of a lot of women.

rohini said...

gossips..creating spicy comments is in indian blood...
people here specially women are just bound to be at home,..and i will say that khali dimag shaitan ka ghar...women only are the enemies of women..they cant digest if any girl/women has the freedom of doing watever they like...but if they r themselves given a chance they enjoy themselves ...hypocrites....

Rachna said...

Men have it easy when it comes to these things. Though, in cities it is changing. Yet, no one would like to be branded something rude.

Dhanya said...

Loved this post! Yes, women get branded a lot especially if they're good looking. I wonder if it only happens in India or outside too. I can't somehow imagine an English 'aunty ji' going 'Oh my god! That girl hangs around with too many guys! And look at the clothes she wear!' :P It sounds very Indian somehow.

Destiny's child... said...

I don't see the scenario changing anytime soon. The fact that such messages are supposed to be funny is ample testimony to it.

I hope you are out of your sullen mood now. :)

(¯`•._.•[Raajii]•._.•´¯) said...

thank you. I am glad a man has the courage to speak up.

Women are oppressed and this one way to oppress them. If a mam sleeps around, he is a stud, if a woman does, she is a slut.

it makes me want to have no faith in men.

Jon said...

@BKC sir...u said it very right
But @BKC sir and Rohini ma'am i wont say its just men or women who's behind this. The branding/gossips is very prevalent in the posh/swanky offices too. it's typical indian and a very prevalent culture

Jon said...

@dhanys since u used the word 'beautiful' hope it hadnt been any personal experience for u
@rachna...i really don't think women in the city are free of branding

Jon said...

@destiny...i am doing good now. thanx...ur observation on sms is very apt

@raaji relax there are chivalrous brave men (like me) out there

Purba said...

We love putting celebrities on a pedestal and enjoy the spectacle of their fall from grace.

The nation had high hopes from Sania Mirza and she was a rising star. I guess in a way the public feels let down.

About women getting branded - it's a classic case of "sour grapes".

And cheer up boy!!!!

Farila said...

You have done wonderful blogs on few social causes and gender issues.. need to visit you more often