Monday, August 29, 2016

Movie Review -Pretham (Malayalam)

Do you want to make a Malayalam movie. It's quite easy now. Please ensure the following ingredients are there in the mix :

1. A shallow script  

2. A mix of friends . The hero has to be chisel cut. One out of shape guy is inevitable, who would remind you that obesity is quite cool.

  3. The protagonist should be an engineering/ medical graduate who didn't complete his course because he wanted to be a singer. He must obviously be from a rich family and is in logger heads with his dad.  

4. It's advisable to shoot in Kochi or some exotic location.  

5. The men has to speak in Cochin/ Thrissur slang with a tinge of English.  

6. Home bred ladies have to speak in Thrissur/ Palakkad slang. The cool girls have to do Manglish NRI slang.  

7. There should be a modern girl with slim body and big tits. She should be proud of her 'structure'. The guys have to openly remark about it and the girl should be very comfortable in it. She shouldn't mind spending a room with a random guy because she wants to borrow his book. There should be not-so-very sly references on anatomy/ sexual conquests of women. Well that is what you mean when we talk about female-oriented roles. If there is a horny guy coming in to solve the issues of protagonists, he will carry a license to grab your ass. Women love it you know.  

8. Jokes can be borrowed from internet/ email.

9. The whole concept can be a remix of some old cinema.  

10. Dialogues can also be straight out of hit movies of yesteryear.  

11. Then you may remark that this is a stupid movie after all. Candid you know.  

12. Some horrid lighting and camera angles.  

13. Songs with a catchy BGM and a single line that keeps repeating. Vineeth Sreenivasan is a good option if your song writer is a high school drop out who doesn't know the language  

After mixing all this into a heady concoction open a facebook and Twitter page. Pay them to trend it. Write some fake reviews. Release posters with weird shoots and even weird names  

You have a hit

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Pointless world

കാള പെറ്റതു കേട്ടു കയ൪ എടുത്തു
കയ൪ എടുത്തതു കേട്ടു കാള പെറ്റു
കാളയെ കറക്കാന്‍ പശു വന്നു
അതു കണ്ട പൂവന്‍ മുട്ടയിട്ടു

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Sweet Chat

My colleague who sits next to me asks, " Do you know Mr G".
Ofcourse I know him. A mid aged perfect gentleman with a broad smile.
"Nothng more?"

"Well, he sends me a friends request."
I wondered why isn't he sending me one. Probabaly I don't have pretty tits.
"Then he pings every morning and night wishing Good morning and Good night. Now he wants my whatsapp number as well. I asked around a few other girls and all have the same experience too.'

What makes these men  sacrifice their social standing for a little 'sweet chat' with young girls!!

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Migration and society in Kerala

Yesterday I noticed a huge crowd in front of my office. The traffice was blocked and there was a mix of cacaphony in Hindi and Malayalam. I went near to see what the matter was.

Two menial workers from northern India was arguing about sharing their earnings. Soe local auto drivers piched in with various suggestions and some even shouting beating both of them as a solution.

Things have come to such an extent that there is absolutely no one to do even the kitchens in Kerala. We are absolutely dependent on the migrant popultion for everything.

Strangely it is not the menial wok alone. Last day I saw a pitch black malayali lady walking along with a handsome guy with northern Eastern features and seems to be in love. Yes, we may see them marrying our daughters too.
In near future we re sure to witness mor social tensions and conflicts. Jisha murder case must just be a beginning.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

The daily sweat shops

Today I went out for the weekly grocery shopping. I decided to try out the one who offers goods on a lesser margin.

Like all the desperate middle class middle aged men trying to save a rupee ( and in te end burn an extra ten rupee on petrol) I went to a renowned shop in the neighborhood. These guys ran a chain of grocery round the city. They quickly rose to fame and renovated the interiors to get the swanky feeling. I ran into some of my colleagues in the shop. I was amazed at the way they had beautifully arranged their stuff.

Needless to say it's not easy to compete with the Big Bazaars and Mores. But these small scale guys have held on to their share of market, much to their credit

I took a look around and saw very tiny kids dressed in white overcoats looking so famished, listless and tired. They were the 'executives'- fancy name given to sweatshop workers.
Most of them sweat it out morning till night only to earn a pittance. Some years ago when Kerala was unfriendly to business ventures we never saw these faces. Sadly we have become 'business friendly'

Friday, November 6, 2015

Starting again

Hello anyone who reads my blog. Been away for a while and now am back, this time as a very much married guy.

Well marriage was an excuse for lesser blogging and also  faulty keyboard. But the last week, I decided to buy a new keyboard and am very raring to go!!!!!

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Bare handed dentist

I have been told many times, that I am a horny bastard and a jerk. The first instance was after seeing a fashion show of a friend. I got turned on so bad and let her know that she had "hot thighs". the next day she snubbed me so bad that she posted all over my orkut wall with the words- perhaps you should admire the thighs of your mother and sister. I cried so much and begged her for mercy.

I promised everyone that this would be my last time but no, over the years it went on to become greater and greater. Nowadays I am rather uncomfortable if no one calls me a horny bastard.

Some women had gone on to suggest marriage will cure me of all sickness. Now the said advise came from an American setlled friend who is "unofficially" separated from her husband.
But I realize I am very comfortable with myself and shed off all the pretensions.

Sometimes I am quite surprised that smaller things ae quite eniough to arouse the horny bastard in me
A few days ago I realized after a meal a small parrticle gets caught up in my teeth. I then struggle half an hour with my toungue and hands to get it out. i asked around who the cheapest dentist was.
Dentists are the hot money makers of today. They use very cheap materials and make more than 100 percent profit. Atlast I got reffered to a dentist couple.I went for an appointment and was asked by the receptionist whom I preffered to see

Although my choice was the lady, I preffered to be the gentleman and gave the choice to the receptionist. The receptionist , to my relief, fixed my appointment with th lady

I was even more rlieved to find a prety cute Brahmin lady with the most perfect curves. As she started prodding my teeth , exclaimimg how horrible they were I closed my eyes and lay dreaming about her, blissfully unaware of the drills carving my mouth. The latex gloves in her hands was a distraction. May be this is the reason people hate condoms.

Towards the end of it I felt a strange sensation and looked up to see there were no gloves in the hands digging into my mouth.
And i lay blissfully licking the hand , feigning ignorance