Some stale jokes....Read it @ your own risk

A few years back I got an airtel connection which gave you 4400 free sms as long as you feed it with 44 bucks every month. Soon it became a craze for me to finish the 4400 ‘free’ smses. Sadly I haven’t been successful in finishing up the stipulated quota. I collect the phone nos. of every old pals and send them the stale jokes even if they beg, cajole and threaten me not to do so. I even love to send smses to people without revealing my identity. It simply drives them crazy. I have been thinking of sharing with you guys some of the samples I got in my mobile. I feel sorry that I am not able to sms you the jokes although I would be happy to do so. There is no feeling as good as the one you get when you sent it out an sms. MALAYALAM **1**Leader passes away. Mimikry artistukalkku theera nashtam. Oru Pradhana characteruneyaanu nashtamayathu. **2** Dubail oru lelathinnu 3 mallus poyi. 1 from Kottayam, 1 from Malappuram, 1 from Thrissur. 3 perkkum lelam pidikkan pattiyilla. They are informing their house Kottayam: Appan aano? Oh enna parayanna. Mudinja oru lelam aayirunnu. Njaan 10 inu villichappo avan 20 nu ketti villichu. Angane poyi poyi njanangu ittechu ponnu. Phone Bill-20 Dirhams Malappuram:Uppaa…Enthoruddukkathe lelanu. Oon 10 nu villichappa njamallu ketti 20 raakki. Pinnem aa bedakku pidichon ketti villichu. Pinne kettippe njamade kshema kett, Njammal ingadu ponnu Phone Bill-25 Dirhams Thrissur: appanaa, Jose aanu, Lelam oombeetta Phone Bill-1 Dirham Thrissur Rockzzz **3** Sex il pala sthreekallil pala reaction Velakkari: Vegam cheyyu kochamma varum Ayalkkari: Pathukke cheyyu shabdham purathu kellkum Kamuki:Kurachu koodi cheyyu. Novikkalle Bharya: Fan il enthu mathram azhukkanennu nokkiye! HINDI **1**why boys call girls ‘item’. Because item means ‘maal’.Maal means paisa. Paisa means Laxmi or ladki ghar ki laxmi hoti hain, to hui na ITEM. ”Rishta wahi soch nayi” **2** Mohabbat ko math chupao, usse zaroorat hai jatane ki. Pyaar ko math chupao, usse zaroorat hai dikhne ki. Perfume math lagao, thumhe zaroorat hai nahane ki. **3** Ladki waala: Beta drink karhe ho? Ji Han! Cigarette? Har Roj! Jua? Bilkul Danga-fasad? Aadat hai Tho koi positives hain ladke mein? Hain naa…HIV +ve ENGLISH **1**Q: How to kill an ant Ans: Mix chilli powder with sugar and keep it outside ant’s home. After eating ant will search for water. Place a water tank somewhere near. Push the ant into it. Ant will search for a fire to dry himself. Place a bomb near the fire. Ant will be seriously injured and will be admitted into hospital. There remove the oxygen tube from the ant and it will die. **2** Dad: what about your exam results? Son: I failed in 5 subjects. Dad: From now on, don’t call me’ dad’ Son: Aww come on dad, it’s just a class test. Not a DNA test **3** An explorer finds himself surrounded by tribal natives. He prays aloud, ‘God I am in trouble’ Heavens open up and in a majestic voice reply comes,’No you are not. Take that huge stone and slay the chief’ The explorer obeys. The voice comes back ‘Now you are in trouble’ **************************************************************************** I landed in a big embarrassment today. The laptop had complaints with its motherboard a month back. I got it repaired and today morning the lap went on a sudden strike. I thought it must be the motherboard again. I marched off to fire the repairman. Sadly it was a lady in the service section. She took out the battery, gave it a blow and restarted the laptop again. I grabbed it from her and closed the laptop. She found it strange. She gave me a lecture on how to handle the machine judiciously took it away from me and opened it when she found a majestic lady in her glorious semi nudity. She silently handed it back.