Thursday, January 6, 2011

Some stale jokes....Read it @ your own risk

A few years back I got an airtel connection which gave you 4400 free sms as long as you feed it with 44 bucks every month. Soon it became a craze for me to finish the 4400 ‘free’ smses. Sadly I haven’t been successful in finishing up the stipulated quota. I collect the phone nos. of every old pals and send them the stale jokes even if they beg, cajole and threaten me not to do so. I even love to send smses to people without revealing my identity. It simply drives them crazy. I have been thinking of sharing with you guys some of the samples I got in my mobile. I feel sorry that I am not able to sms you the jokes although I would be happy to do so. There is no feeling as good as the one you get when you sent it out an sms. MALAYALAM **1**Leader passes away. Mimikry artistukalkku theera nashtam. Oru Pradhana characteruneyaanu nashtamayathu. **2** Dubail oru lelathinnu 3 mallus poyi. 1 from Kottayam, 1 from Malappuram, 1 from Thrissur. 3 perkkum lelam pidikkan pattiyilla. They are informing their house Kottayam: Appan aano? Oh enna parayanna. Mudinja oru lelam aayirunnu. Njaan 10 inu villichappo avan 20 nu ketti villichu. Angane poyi poyi njanangu ittechu ponnu. Phone Bill-20 Dirhams Malappuram:Uppaa…Enthoruddukkathe lelanu. Oon 10 nu villichappa njamallu ketti 20 raakki. Pinnem aa bedakku pidichon ketti villichu. Pinne kettippe njamade kshema kett, Njammal ingadu ponnu Phone Bill-25 Dirhams Thrissur: appanaa, Jose aanu, Lelam oombeetta Phone Bill-1 Dirham Thrissur Rockzzz **3** Sex il pala sthreekallil pala reaction Velakkari: Vegam cheyyu kochamma varum Ayalkkari: Pathukke cheyyu shabdham purathu kellkum Kamuki:Kurachu koodi cheyyu. Novikkalle Bharya: Fan il enthu mathram azhukkanennu nokkiye! HINDI **1**why boys call girls ‘item’. Because item means ‘maal’.Maal means paisa. Paisa means Laxmi or ladki ghar ki laxmi hoti hain, to hui na ITEM. ”Rishta wahi soch nayi” **2** Mohabbat ko math chupao, usse zaroorat hai jatane ki. Pyaar ko math chupao, usse zaroorat hai dikhne ki. Perfume math lagao, thumhe zaroorat hai nahane ki. **3** Ladki waala: Beta drink karhe ho? Ji Han! Cigarette? Har Roj! Jua? Bilkul Danga-fasad? Aadat hai Tho koi positives hain ladke mein? Hain naa…HIV +ve ENGLISH **1**Q: How to kill an ant Ans: Mix chilli powder with sugar and keep it outside ant’s home. After eating ant will search for water. Place a water tank somewhere near. Push the ant into it. Ant will search for a fire to dry himself. Place a bomb near the fire. Ant will be seriously injured and will be admitted into hospital. There remove the oxygen tube from the ant and it will die. **2** Dad: what about your exam results? Son: I failed in 5 subjects. Dad: From now on, don’t call me’ dad’ Son: Aww come on dad, it’s just a class test. Not a DNA test **3** An explorer finds himself surrounded by tribal natives. He prays aloud, ‘God I am in trouble’ Heavens open up and in a majestic voice reply comes,’No you are not. Take that huge stone and slay the chief’ The explorer obeys. The voice comes back ‘Now you are in trouble’ **************************************************************************** I landed in a big embarrassment today. The laptop had complaints with its motherboard a month back. I got it repaired and today morning the lap went on a sudden strike. I thought it must be the motherboard again. I marched off to fire the repairman. Sadly it was a lady in the service section. She took out the battery, gave it a blow and restarted the laptop again. I grabbed it from her and closed the laptop. She found it strange. She gave me a lecture on how to handle the machine judiciously took it away from me and opened it when she found a majestic lady in her glorious semi nudity. She silently handed it back.

7 comments:

madamebutterfly said...

I hope you were suitably embarrassed!

simply me said...

LOLSSSSSSSSS
ROFL :) :D :D
will get back with a lengthy comment

Renu said...

Lol:)..third one in Hindi is best.I was wondering where is this going:)

BK Chowla, said...

Didnt understand the ones in Malayalam.
Enjoyed every joke in English. Some one seems to have a very good collection.

sm said...

lol
did not understand Malayalam jokes

Destiny's child... said...

Haha! Loved the last two of the English jokes..totally rofl..the creator of the first malayalam sms ought to be shot at sight!

Sh@s said...

Had a good laugh and the Best of all was your end note :P