Monday, August 29, 2016

Movie Review -Pretham (Malayalam)

Do you want to make a Malayalam movie. It's quite easy now. Please ensure the following ingredients are there in the mix :

1. A shallow script  

2. A mix of friends . The hero has to be chisel cut. One out of shape guy is inevitable, who would remind you that obesity is quite cool.

  3. The protagonist should be an engineering/ medical graduate who didn't complete his course because he wanted to be a singer. He must obviously be from a rich family and is in logger heads with his dad.  

4. It's advisable to shoot in Kochi or some exotic location.  

5. The men has to speak in Cochin/ Thrissur slang with a tinge of English.  

6. Home bred ladies have to speak in Thrissur/ Palakkad slang. The cool girls have to do Manglish NRI slang.  

7. There should be a modern girl with slim body and big tits. She should be proud of her 'structure'. The guys have to openly remark about it and the girl should be very comfortable in it. She shouldn't mind spending a room with a random guy because she wants to borrow his book. There should be not-so-very sly references on anatomy/ sexual conquests of women. Well that is what you mean when we talk about female-oriented roles. If there is a horny guy coming in to solve the issues of protagonists, he will carry a license to grab your ass. Women love it you know.  

8. Jokes can be borrowed from internet/ email.

9. The whole concept can be a remix of some old cinema.  

10. Dialogues can also be straight out of hit movies of yesteryear.  

11. Then you may remark that this is a stupid movie after all. Candid you know.  

12. Some horrid lighting and camera angles.  

13. Songs with a catchy BGM and a single line that keeps repeating. Vineeth Sreenivasan is a good option if your song writer is a high school drop out who doesn't know the language  

After mixing all this into a heady concoction open a facebook and Twitter page. Pay them to trend it. Write some fake reviews. Release posters with weird shoots and even weird names  

You have a hit

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Pointless world

കാള പെറ്റതു കേട്ടു കയ൪ എടുത്തു
കയ൪ എടുത്തതു കേട്ടു കാള പെറ്റു
കാളയെ കറക്കാന്‍ പശു വന്നു
അതു കണ്ട പൂവന്‍ മുട്ടയിട്ടു

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Sweet Chat

My colleague who sits next to me asks, " Do you know Mr G".
Ofcourse I know him. A mid aged perfect gentleman with a broad smile.
"Nothng more?"

"Well, he sends me a friends request."
I wondered why isn't he sending me one. Probabaly I don't have pretty tits.
"Then he pings every morning and night wishing Good morning and Good night. Now he wants my whatsapp number as well. I asked around a few other girls and all have the same experience too.'

What makes these men  sacrifice their social standing for a little 'sweet chat' with young girls!!

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Migration and society in Kerala

Yesterday I noticed a huge crowd in front of my office. The traffice was blocked and there was a mix of cacaphony in Hindi and Malayalam. I went near to see what the matter was.

Two menial workers from northern India was arguing about sharing their earnings. Soe local auto drivers piched in with various suggestions and some even shouting beating both of them as a solution.

Things have come to such an extent that there is absolutely no one to do even the kitchens in Kerala. We are absolutely dependent on the migrant popultion for everything.

Strangely it is not the menial wok alone. Last day I saw a pitch black malayali lady walking along with a handsome guy with northern Eastern features and seems to be in love. Yes, we may see them marrying our daughters too.
In near future we re sure to witness mor social tensions and conflicts. Jisha murder case must just be a beginning.