Thursday, March 25, 2010

Love you people

So I miss my morning bus as usual. It’s not at all unusual but I am mightily pissed off. I stand contemplating my options in the hot sun. According to my religious beliefs I am supposed to forgive those who pisses me off (modern jargon). I write down the list mentally:

Our Bus driver: I suspect our CEO pays him extra bucks to reach the 10 minutes early to our battle field. And he is also paid extra bucks to take the bus out early in the evening, leaving the work horses back in the field for some more work until the next bus shifts.

He arrives too early (I consider 7:55am as early) and he never waits for a few seconds for the lesser beings. But he is not totally evil. He gives his phone number to the good looking girls, so that they can borrow a few more minutes.

Yes, I admit, I hate him for no fault of his

My X-Manager: This feeling will be shared by all my fellow workers all around the world. Managers are suckers, no doubt. But he has simply graduated himself to a ****sucker. I have no reason to like him and so won’t list the reasons of dislike. He is slimy and has this unique ability to fuck everyone around throughout the year. He has this affiliation for sycophancy to make him a strong candidate for MHM(Most Hated Manager).

AuntyB: Presenting to you The Office bitch of the century. She bitches about everyone to everyone. Even her poor husband isn’t spared. My condolences for him. But I admit she is extremely good at it. She managed to get a high review (for sitting at home and going back by 2pm if at all she comes) from my X-Manager. She had this ability to reveal the huge cleavage (knowingly/unknowingly) during crucial meetings.

In a weak moment she forgot the basic principle of bitching - Don’t bitch the untouchables. She was thrown out of the team.

Petty: Her only problem is she doesn’t have the class to carry off whatever game she plays. At the end of every affair she ends up looking miserable and still shamelessly plunges into her next venture.

Vaishakh: Moving to a new city is tough during your school days. I sat for months in my class without a single friend. V made matters worse for me when he made fun off me in every single chance he got. But later we became thick friends. So no hard feelings.

Koshy Uncle: I cant really blame him. When you are old and got nothing better to do, you poke your head into the neighbor’s affairs. He is quite harmless if avoided. But if he get involved he can vigorously and emotionally bad mouth anybody.

Mimoh: The girl I always loved. And she didn’t give a damn about me. I got a phrase vestigial feelings. The ones that can hurt you at moments when you have nothing better to think about.

Uncle Grey: Each time he pays us a visit, he promises to get me out of here. In return I will have to listen to his lengthy discourses. I have been listening for two years to his discourses nodding my head with a smile plastered on my face. And nothing good have come out of it.

So you see, I have a very few list of people I hate/ used to hate/ wished to hate. I am a totally likeable guy. So girls, if you are looking out for a totally likeable/loveable guy, here I am.

Meanwhile I am taking a deep breath to forgive them who have/ haven’t wronged me.



simply me said...

he he he... shanti shanti amazing list out there...i guess even i would love to make one such for myself.
topping that list would be a guy from my class who very much loves to show off his pea sized brain making us feel brainless.but then i have learned not hide my distaste with a smile i even gave him a polo to eat

rohini said...

nice post...and thnx for the comment....joining u...

Jon said...

Thanks Rohini...