Cross

I have seen all kinds of wierd dressers- real life and on screen.
Vidya Balan was one who was unfairly hounded by the Bollywood fashion police.Same can be said about Britney Spears and Co. who are vulgar but they live with the sole aim is to raise the adrenalin levels of poor losers like me.

But for the past few weeks I see a lady in the neighborhood, probably a manager, who goes around in men's clothing. Probably to give her a machoistic or sadistic look.(She is not bad to look @) She sure sends shivers down my spine eventhough she doesn't even know me. Imagine the condition of her colleagues(reportees).

A friend from the past

This is the follow up blog to the ‘Keep in Touch’. Robbie, was one of our good friend from school. He had all these eccentric ideas. But he was very jovial and fun. He used to easily make at ease anyone talking to him- boy or girl. Life was not very easy for him. His mother was a widow and they were living far off from his hometown.

But all of us managed to scrap through. He took up nursing. The good thing about him was he always made it a point to contact and come for a visit whenever he was in these parts.

But sadly we heard that his elder brother passed away. He has left behind a young wife and two small kids. Our statistics may be showing a higher life expectancy. But so many young people I know has passed away due to terminal diseases, heart attacks, stroke etc. it seems our youngsters are growing old.

It was sad that we had the chance to meet up due to this sad cause. But surprisingly, he was at his usual self- cracking jokes at my expense. Since I was bit confused on how to deal at this situation, I silently (and happily) accepted all the jibes.

He is flying out to Europe and is getting married to his long term sweet heart. May be he is too busy to dwell in the grief. God bless him and all my friends and give them long and happy life.

Friends, I hope you too would have the same prayer for your loved ones.

House of grief

It was busy evening. I was heading back home after a hectic shopping. Due to the din of traffic I couldn’t make out half of what was being said. But the other half left me speechless.

My good friend’s sister passed away. She was a mere 15 years old- beautiful and highly talented. I remembered someone saying God takes the best to keep with him. She will be immortalized as the beautiful girl in our minds while we grow old and ugly.

She fell off the terrace right in front of her brother and mother. She died in his arms. Ho unimaginable it would be for them. Will they ever escape from the shock! I still remember the young mother’s heart rending cry, imploring God to take away her life too.

Keep in touch

Have you ever noticed a few phrases often used when bidding goodbye-‘See-you’/’Keep in touch’. Don’t we use them so casually? Do we take the extra mile to keep in touch?

Take out a pen and paper. If you haven’t still lost the ability to write, jot down the names of your friends from school, college etc. Highlight the ones you vowed you will never forget. Are you sure all of them are alive still?

11^th and 12^th were the darkest years of my academic life. The sheer size of the school overwhelmed me. I couldn’t make any close friends. Nothing went past the nominal ‘hi’ and ‘bye’. I didn’t mean I was a loner. We exchanged jokes, helped each other cheat in exams and helped out with notes. But I didn’t know where anyone lived. How many brother/sister they had etc.

But there was one guy, Mat, who was a persistent disturbance to this pleasant equilibrium. He disturbed us for lab records, notes, adult magazines, CDs and countless other things. He made surprise visits to our houses and made sure that we visited his (at least to retrieve our personal properties from him).

Even after the schools, he painstakingly collected all the contact information and shamelessly called us each up. He kept in touch persistently. He became one point of contact for any information. He made sure that we meet each other when we were back in town. Mind you it would have been tough to bring reluctant bunch of guys together.

Slowly we developed a bond with each other. We tried to call each other up. A few months back Mat flew out for his higher studies. Today, there is a strain in our bond. Simply because we no longer bother to ‘keep in touch’.

Movies of the week

China Town:
When my good friend offered me the DVD, I thought he meant the Hindi ’36 China Town’. I was about to refuse it when I learnt that it’s Roman Polanski’s ‘China Town’. Well I don’t mean I hate the Hindi one. I love it for the slutty aunt who comes in for Johnny Lever’s wife. (She had a difficult time getting into the tiny skirt.)
Anyways Polanski’s had walked away with many Academy awards. It’s a kind of thriller movie starring the talented Jack Nicholson. Not just him but the entire cast gives a superb performance and even Polanski makes an appearance.
It’s about a private detective who gets himself involved in a murder case and finds himself sucked into a world of deception, adultery, money power etc. China Town is a place where rich and powerful owns the place and runs it. They are the law and order. He realizes that people and world aren’t what it seems outwardly and he is a mere pawn. The ending is poignant and heart rending.
I will stay away from doing a review of a master’s but you will find traces of Hitchcock style. I bet Tarantino would have been inspired by him. It’s stylish, powerhouse performance and sadly very few nude scenes. But you will be surprised at the parallels that can be drawn in society today.
I won’t say it’s the best. But a normal commercial movie lover would like it.

Don’t tell:
If you hate the slow movies, don’t watch this.
I love Christina Comaneci for the beautiful frames. Most of her films are about relationships and you will never see a huge turbulence. Her film flows in a steady pace.
This is an Academy Award winner too. This one deals with fragility of relationships and restless of people until they settle down into a ‘perfect’ one.
The protagonist is happily living with her boy friend. She is happy or it seems so. But she is haunted by strange nightmares. This gets worse when she gets pregnant. So in search for the answer she goes to her brother in USA. She is confronted with troubled family secrets. She decides to take some harsh decisions.
In parallel, there is a lesbian friend of hers haunted by loneliness and her boss deserted by her husband for their daughter’s friend. There is also a director facing a creative block and the boyfriend who gets into a relationship when she is away in USA.
Don’t say I didn’t warn- this is a slow and long movie. But watch it for the frames and some hot scenes. The climax train sequence is one of the best I have ever seen.

Choose

Life hadn’t been easy for her. When she and her late husband started their life, they didn’t have much of a saving. But he was very meager in spending and a very shrewd investor. Soon they climbed up into a very comfortable life.

The father was very stern and believed in the age old policy of beating the sons through the right way. He managed to make a super specialist doctor out of the eldest son and a rebel out of the second.

He was bed ridden for the last 10 years of his life. So she had to take diligent care of him. She was literally locked out from the rest of the world for a decade. So when he died after a prolonged time of helplessness, everyone heaved a sigh of relief. At last she would be free to live her life.

But for her the troubles were just beginning. She moved to the eldest son. He was married to a beautiful doctor. They had their own set of busy social life. They minted enough money to last many life times. The mother couldn’t adjust to the way they brought up their children or the way they threw about their money. Fights ensued and the son took sides with his wife. She walked out.

She then moved to Malaysia were the second one stayed. He had married to Buddhist Singaporean. She being an orthodox Christian, it was a humiliation as the world would blame her for not imparting enough values to her children. But still she gave him her blessings. But life in Singapore became a nightmare for her. She wasn’t used to an existence in an apartment. She couldn’t move about freely due to linguistic restrictions.

She moved back to her home which she built with her husband. She lives a lonely existence today fighting old age and the resulting illnesses.

Life is made out of choices and we will never escape from it but through suicide. But I pray I wouldn’t have to choose between my parents and love/wife/kids.

Afterword: This post has been inspired indirectly by MM.

A few more questions

A few more questions! I had a small discussion with my good old friend from UK.I am not sure how comfortable she is with revealing her name. So for the time being it remains anonymous.
She says she goes out in revealing, low-necks, low hemlines. No one seems to bother her except the Indians, Pakis and Banglas .

So does sexual liberalization resolve our problem? I doubt it!
Are we historically a bunch of lusty men. Sex has been very great motivation right from the architecture, sculptures, poems to wars, feuds and marriages.
Could education resolve the problem?

The same sex schools (Boys’/Girls’) were started at a time when there was restriction for education in many societies. Why the hell do we have them today?
Why do segregate the boys and girls in our classrooms? Why don’t they sit together and mingle right from the kindergarten? Why can’t they involve in mixed group activities?
At least no one gets pregnant till teens!!

There is no much point in segregating based on sex and sex rights don’t solve anyone’s problem. Male and female has to rise to level of humans. For this men and women will have to consider each other as humans rather than someone needing special attention.

Hope a day will come when we see women walking topless in Indian streets without anyone bothering them.

I am adding this line as an afterthought –This is the follow up to my earlier post. Please do read that too

Some women, Few questions

Things were dull that day. I decided to spice up things a bit. It could be masala films, songs, magazine, etc. But this time I started stalking through masala blogs and my favorite one is by ‘a beautiful blogger’.

The beautiful girl was narrating the travails of being young and beautiful. She was groped and stared at lecherously all over Mumbai. The valiant and chivalrous blogger followers of her decided to pour acid, burn, lynch and hang him until death. Sadly, I couldn’t stop laughing. I guess I am losing all kinds of sensitivities towards the fairer sex.

I have a few questions for you guys to answer:

Why do men stare at a woman? I always found this tough to answer. If you put a piece of clothing over the chest or butts it become a mound of flesh. Then what gives him the arousal!

There was a time when all the women in the world went topless (in fact it’s still the case in many parts of Africa) and men went around in tiny bits of loin clothes. Imagine the situation if men got a hard-on. They could have got themselves into bad accidents even. Still we haven’t seen or read or heard of men of those times collectively walking with a gun salute.

Why men of those times didn’t bother about wide variety of breasts around them? Today even a slight peek of cleavage can cause a huge rush to cinema theatres (or wherever it is)!

Does marriage satisfy the sexual urge? I was at a shady place to get some pirated DVDs. A well dressed man came with a small kid (2-3 years). He asked the shopkeeper for porn.

Do women consciously dress provocatively? A female chauvinist will argue that women have all the freedom in the world to dress/undress the way they want to.

I have no difference of opinion in that. But does it mean that men have to walk with heads bowed down and eyes on the ground because their female friends decided to exercise their freedom?

So why do women dress in skin tight dresses, lower necks or higher hemlines? Is it because they feel comfy in the states of undress? Or is it for attention? Well in the second case it’s not women’s attention they seek for!

Do women enjoy being stared at? This would be a tricky question. Thanks to my dirty mind, I would say no man looks at the breasts or butts to marvel the art of nature and to thank the almighty. There is a bad intention. Some men hide it and some find it tough to do so. The men from second category involve themselves in acts like cam hidden in bathroom, sneak-peek, groping, passing sexual innuendos and maybe even utilising a paid service.

But if the person who stares is handsome and attractive, then the lady is pleased. Or if the guy is old and resembles a crook, he will escape with a nasty stare in return (if he is lucky).

Afterword: There is dress code to be followed in most of the work places across India. If it’s disobeyed by a man in anyway, he will find the HR watch dogs hiding around the corners. But women are more than welcome to break the code. Men, we are all plain losers.

Two Guys

Sorry for the late follow up of my earlier post. When I am grumbling about sweet nothings, here are some people going through tough times.

Bhaskar:

He comes from my college days. He is unimaginably well read, well informed and well talented. No one could hold up with him in a debate. He had a group of friends very good in skits. They were the University champions at a time when it was unimaginable for a technical college to win a cultural competition.

I met him again, but this time he had donned the garb of a professional. Days of revolution were over. He was excelling in his profession too when he met with an accident. A couple in his neighborhood offered him a lift. The driver made a bad mistake.

He was recovering from the facial surgeries when the kidneys failed.

I have seen him sleeping on the sofas in our office, too drained after dialysis. For someone to live on sympathy is close to humiliating. The financial needs didn’t allow him the liberty of taking a leave! But thankfully his team quite understood and allowed him enough space for treatment. A rather unseen emotion in the corporate sector is understanding!

The way he fights on with his life is amazing. In a government office there will be people with disabilities. But at a place, where people are on a race to look good, to stand out because of your difficulties is tough. But I have seen Bhaskar valiantly going on. Revolution never dies.

By God’s grace I am involved in fund collection for his kidney transplant. I am trying to shore up people through various contacts. But people have become too insensitive to respond. I am not being judegemental, but the fund collection could have been peanuts if everyone had put at least 10-200 Rs(remember the lowest salary among us is 20k)

Ashiq:

Although he is a distant relative of mine, I heard of him only after his illness. Fighting cancer is more of a family affair. It drains you psychologically as well as financially. When you have a troubled family cancer is not a great idea.

Ashiq’s dad was a chronic drunkard. He is a loving family man but had this great habit of getting drunk every night. After a drunken brawl he lost the mobility of his right arm. So when Ashiq was diagnosed with Cancer he was totally at sea. The family stayed at my uncle’s place during the time of treatment. In fact this was a treatment for his dad too.

He recovered gradually and happiness came back into the household. He had lost one year in his school but he did cope up very well.

Last day I heard he is preparing for an entrance for Medicine. It’s a costly process and probably time consuming. He requested me for my old clothes which I happily offloaded.

It must have been his own sufferings that ignited his passion for medicine. If he succeeds he will become one of the best doctors.

Guys does these people need sympathy alone?