Concept of Consent

I am a person who rarely gets into an argument in social media platform. One thing being half the population are stupid and stubborn. I mostly listen and smile.

But the last day a friend posted a video of a interview bit with a politician in Kerala. This guy, Mr P C George, more or less who has been in the news for his ‘populist’, ‘machoistic’ views on matters of interests doesn’t have any political party but he has been able to stand at the right places and take the right positions to stay in the limelight

The interviewer, more of a pretty novice, asks him about women’s safety in Indian public spaces during odd hours. He curtly replies ‘ Women from respectable families need not go out in odd hours’.

This was a wildly popular interview clip years ago. The interviewer was a less known pretty lass who looked too eager to please and the TV channel were in look out for attracting some eye balls. So here this guy has come up with a  solution to abuse, defined ‘respectablity’ and solved public safety all in a single go.

Coming back my friend shared this clip with a caption ‘Pwolichu’ a new generation slang for ‘Rocking’ (my generation slang). I was surprised and stunned. I asked her, a post graduate student, what about women who work late nights? There are women who work as menial labourers to top executives who commute late into night. What about them.

I don’t know was the the reply.

I went on to talk to her about this consent the concept of consent and definition of decency. Sad part is women are conditioned to think that men, that too strangers, have the right to abuse their personal space if the compromise on some society-drawn-boundaries on decency. This abuse of personal space have no age barrier and has normalized even rape over these years.

Saying that it is not just indecent looking street guys who abuse a woman. Even decent looking people like I do. But coming into terms with the fact is not easy.

Things that wont simply go off

She texted me up yesterday. It has been sometime we have been in touch. I did deliberately put a full stop, as her marriage had been on the cards for sometime.

She sounded a bit flustered. The guy was showing up his real ‘face’. He put up a lot of restrictions on her- attire, joking, going out. He seems to be disenchanted of the future. He doesn’t open up. She sounded ultimately confused on where this is leading. I knew her persona very well- a very romantic, sensous, humorous person. The fate might be coming up with just the opposite.

I didn’t bother to console her. Is there any point in doing so? The combination of tough horoscope and huge dowry market makes it tough for her parents to get a match. I asked her to face the song.

Its so sad to see even after all the years of female empowerment, we see the total exploitation in the so called institution- marriage. The enormous dowry you have to come up with plus the expenses, it just drains the sanctity off. Earlier the love matches were exempted from dowry, now it became more prevalent there. I recently saw a very old couple mortgaging their home for their daughter’s marriage. The mortgage rates are very high in India, you’ll have no scope of repaying it. The funny part is the couple aren’t poor. They might come into the upper middle class and still they cant afford the ‘marriage’.

Speaking about the horoscopes- I don’t know. There are people who believe in it. I am not questioning the faith. But when the horoscopes becomes an indirect tool for exploitation, is it a right thing?

Femina Managers

I remember a debate we had in our college. The topic was on ‘Do women make good managers?’ Most of them chose the safe side- the feminine one. They tore apart their opponents with points like

a. Women were worshipped in pagan relegions

b. They make good home makers

c. Good at multi tasking

d. Attractive

e. Caring and considerate

I sat with my mouth shut. Little did I know that I would be confronting this topic, but in real life.

After a few years in a corporate field and that too with most of the time with women bossing over, I have arrived at some sour but true realities.

Women find it easy to climb up the ladder at least to an extent. The reason being they say ‘Yes, I (will) do’ too easily. Then they cajole/threaten their slaves to finish the job. So trust a woman to do impractical things at impractical time.

Another trademark aspect is easiness with which they panic. I know a well connected lady in our place. We regularly get the company news letter singing her praises. I found her good in only one thing. When an issue comes up the first thing she does is to panic and melt half the team’s confidence. Then everyone work around like rats until the issue is made messier. The stakeholder decides, ’We are better off without it.’

Then there is this very beautiful girl. She is very young and was promoted recently. She walks around panting and puffing exclaiming the cruelty of her fate. She goes to bed very late and wakes up very early. I wonder how these people function without any sleep. Btw do you guys know lack of sleep causes breast cancer?

There are other great features too for women. They magically pop up behind your shoulder to monitor how you waste your time. They regularly remind you how hard (late) they work.

It’s actually great to see a good looking manager on someone else’s side. No thanks, I wouldn’t want them.

Branded for life

Guys and Gals,

Apologies first. I haven’t been able to follow many of your blogs or comments in the past week. I have this trouble in motivating myself. I am very reluctant to pat myself at the back. So for the past one week I have been roaming around feeling like a loser. This happens when you are one among the few in office who haven’t won a recognition/appreciation or when you perform too badly in your guitar classes.

Back to the blog:

My brother got an SMS which was meant to be funny.

A couple breaks up after a long courtship.

The girl goes around saying ‘He is a loser’, ‘He is insensitive’, ‘He has a tough mother’ etc.

The boy goes around saying, ‘Dude, she is a slut’.

Have you noticed our women get branded too easily? Or am I wrong? Some women consciously try to avoid any tasteless tags but some don’t bother at all.

There is a girl in my neighborhood. She has an ordinary face and an extra ordinary figure which she compounds by wearing good clothes. She has a huge number of male friends and regularly hangs out with them. So whenever a talk about her comes up, the aunts would have seen her at multiple places with many guys at a single time.

Another famous figure who’s a victim to the vicious branding is Sania Mirza. She got all the attention because she was a hot number on the court (and off it). I remember she was the most googled person once. As soon as she started losing we branded her as an upstart, undedicated, etc. But wasn’t it too much to expect a Wimbledon from her? Was she wrong in marrying a guy she chose and calling off the engagement with another. Why do we go after her when she broke no law and is a harmless creature?!

I saw a photo of Yuvaraj Singh with a huge paunch and why isn’t anyone after him questioning his dedication?

Women are from Venus

Happy Onam….. Don’t try to reach me hereafter….somehow I and my boyfriend feel that our friendship might not turn out to be for good….So goodbye!
I stared at the screen in wonder.



Female species have continued to baffle and petrify me. I am positive that I wouldn’t be the only man in the world to come up with this opinion. I stand in the league of world’s greatest philosophers and thinkers.
‘She’ is a personality whom I haven’t met (at least not in reality). Here is a few online conversations we shared.


(We were chatting about a family function at her home)
Me: So what all food are going to be there for the occasion?
She: why are you so concerned about that?
Me: I wanted to know how you guys do your functions
She: Please do not show any concern on me? I am already engaged to another person.
Me: Huh?
***************************************************************************************
RED CARD
(We were chatting about a sly manager)
Me: I will crush his balls
She: Balls?
Me: Uh-huh.. It’s nothing
She: Please tell me…. What balls are you talking about?
Me: Something related with male anatomy.
SILENCE
Me: (concerned) You there?
She: How dare you talk filth to me?
Me: Filth?
She: Balls
Me: Ball isn’t a bad word!
RED CARD
***************************************************************************************
(We were chatting about her Mr. Cool )
She: You know I am worried about him.
Me: Why?
She: He drives his car so fast and does so much adventure.
Me: No worries…ambulance services are very fast in UK. They even use helicopters.
RED CARD
**********************************************************************************
Me: What is your guy’s name?
She: No girl is supposed to tell her guy’s name.
Me: Then what am I supposed to call him
She: You can call him ‘breeze’
Me: How can I do that? ‘Breeze’ is a ladies inner wear manufacturing company.
RED CARD
*********************************************************************************

Cross

I have seen all kinds of wierd dressers- real life and on screen.
Vidya Balan was one who was unfairly hounded by the Bollywood fashion police.Same can be said about Britney Spears and Co. who are vulgar but they live with the sole aim is to raise the adrenalin levels of poor losers like me.

But for the past few weeks I see a lady in the neighborhood, probably a manager, who goes around in men's clothing. Probably to give her a machoistic or sadistic look.(She is not bad to look @) She sure sends shivers down my spine eventhough she doesn't even know me. Imagine the condition of her colleagues(reportees).

A few more questions

A few more questions! I had a small discussion with my good old friend from UK.I am not sure how comfortable she is with revealing her name. So for the time being it remains anonymous.
She says she goes out in revealing, low-necks, low hemlines. No one seems to bother her except the Indians, Pakis and Banglas .

So does sexual liberalization resolve our problem? I doubt it!
Are we historically a bunch of lusty men. Sex has been very great motivation right from the architecture, sculptures, poems to wars, feuds and marriages.
Could education resolve the problem?

The same sex schools (Boys’/Girls’) were started at a time when there was restriction for education in many societies. Why the hell do we have them today?
Why do segregate the boys and girls in our classrooms? Why don’t they sit together and mingle right from the kindergarten? Why can’t they involve in mixed group activities?
At least no one gets pregnant till teens!!

There is no much point in segregating based on sex and sex rights don’t solve anyone’s problem. Male and female has to rise to level of humans. For this men and women will have to consider each other as humans rather than someone needing special attention.

Hope a day will come when we see women walking topless in Indian streets without anyone bothering them.

I am adding this line as an afterthought –This is the follow up to my earlier post. Please do read that too

Some women, Few questions

Things were dull that day. I decided to spice up things a bit. It could be masala films, songs, magazine, etc. But this time I started stalking through masala blogs and my favorite one is by ‘a beautiful blogger’.

The beautiful girl was narrating the travails of being young and beautiful. She was groped and stared at lecherously all over Mumbai. The valiant and chivalrous blogger followers of her decided to pour acid, burn, lynch and hang him until death. Sadly, I couldn’t stop laughing. I guess I am losing all kinds of sensitivities towards the fairer sex.

I have a few questions for you guys to answer:

Why do men stare at a woman? I always found this tough to answer. If you put a piece of clothing over the chest or butts it become a mound of flesh. Then what gives him the arousal!

There was a time when all the women in the world went topless (in fact it’s still the case in many parts of Africa) and men went around in tiny bits of loin clothes. Imagine the situation if men got a hard-on. They could have got themselves into bad accidents even. Still we haven’t seen or read or heard of men of those times collectively walking with a gun salute.

Why men of those times didn’t bother about wide variety of breasts around them? Today even a slight peek of cleavage can cause a huge rush to cinema theatres (or wherever it is)!

Does marriage satisfy the sexual urge? I was at a shady place to get some pirated DVDs. A well dressed man came with a small kid (2-3 years). He asked the shopkeeper for porn.

Do women consciously dress provocatively? A female chauvinist will argue that women have all the freedom in the world to dress/undress the way they want to.

I have no difference of opinion in that. But does it mean that men have to walk with heads bowed down and eyes on the ground because their female friends decided to exercise their freedom?

So why do women dress in skin tight dresses, lower necks or higher hemlines? Is it because they feel comfy in the states of undress? Or is it for attention? Well in the second case it’s not women’s attention they seek for!

Do women enjoy being stared at? This would be a tricky question. Thanks to my dirty mind, I would say no man looks at the breasts or butts to marvel the art of nature and to thank the almighty. There is a bad intention. Some men hide it and some find it tough to do so. The men from second category involve themselves in acts like cam hidden in bathroom, sneak-peek, groping, passing sexual innuendos and maybe even utilising a paid service.

But if the person who stares is handsome and attractive, then the lady is pleased. Or if the guy is old and resembles a crook, he will escape with a nasty stare in return (if he is lucky).

Afterword: There is dress code to be followed in most of the work places across India. If it’s disobeyed by a man in anyway, he will find the HR watch dogs hiding around the corners. But women are more than welcome to break the code. Men, we are all plain losers.

One packet of wild oats

The crowd in our office is very young. The average age would range in mid 30s. So I get to see women in different stages of pregnancy. Planning to get pregnant, just pregnant, peak of pregnancy and past pregnancy.
I am not expert in the delicate matters of pregnancy. But I notice that mothers lose hair, get fat around the midriff etc. on these periods. Unless you are strong willed, you will not be able to get back your old figure.
I wonder the insecurity a lady might feel during these periods. She might live under constant fear of her husband going around spilling his wide oats.
God should have been fair to women too. Why don’t they get any wild oats to spill?

Ode to dreams

The one thing I enjoyed about going to office every morning was three beautiful girls in my bus stop. This may sound silly but ask a single, unmarried guy for whom the life’s little blessings come in this way. Yes, three beautiful ones in the neighborhood will paint his otherwise dull canvas with wild and beautiful dreams.

They were the hot properties of the entire company. So getting to know them was a privilege. Just talking to them would make the guys around go green with envy. Needless to say, when the boys came to know that I was their neighbor their eyes filled up with silent admiration.

The sad part of life is it moves on. For an IT professional he is obliged to jump from company to company seeking higher pay. The ladies have just moved to different location leaving me alone in this dull canvas.

But still I m obliged to pay my respects to them.

Girls, I will miss you all. Unki’s red bright hair, her black and white boyfriends, public romancing will become memories of the past. Nisha’s homely beauty, her perfect curves and most of all her comic false accent were priceless. I confess I hoped to marry you someday (I am quite sure you don’t read my blogs). Priya could be tolerated if she kept her mouth shut. As soon as she opens it I get the feeling of a market. But below the neck she could beat anyone by a mile.

I may remain some irrelevant character in your life. But surely I will miss you all.