The love meter

A few days back I got an sms claiming they will measure the probablity of my love succeeding.

I with great hope and faith send in mine and my sweetheart's name. For the sms I lost 5rupees.

To my great relief they replied that I am soon marrying my sweetheart. For the reply they deducted 15 bucks. Anyway 20 is not a great sum to lose for love.

But now every week they are sending me an sms saying 'thank u for subscribing' and are charging me 15 bucks. And u know who I am going to marry for this princely sum.....One and only......

NAMITHA

Manly enough

Guys this has been a mail doing rounds in the mail chain list in the last week. The difference is the protagonist is a real man working in Infosys. I am not even changing the name. Have a look at the innocent chain. The beginning of the problem:

Hi,

I had parked my bike outside the infy MLPL gate, near the HP building, bcos the parking was full in MLPL. At 6.30 pm, i saw my bike. Somebody had broken my helmet lock purposefully. now it's of no use. Whoever has done it, pls reply back to me on my email id. you can pay back the helmet lock money and installation charges(approx 350/-)

Regards, N

Here a few people get back to him:

Wish we lived in sucha society where the culprits surrender themselves and own up their mistake … Looks like you just got to planet earth … Be happy ur bike was still there with both the wheels intact JJ

Regards, S

The Hero replies again:

95% of the ppl who park there are infoscions. I have felt bad about the incident. the inner part of the helmet lock is made of metal. That guy has used all his energy to break my helmet lock into 2 pieces. If he is such a man, he must be manly enough to admit his mistake and pay for his mistake. that's why i hav told him to reply to my email id. I hope atleast he learns some lessons from japanese who are so humble and down to earth now. It's left for him to choose the right path.

regards, N

It’ not over

Pls do not crack jokes on such matters. imagine, if the same things happen to your bikes or cars. will u crack jokes at that time. pls do not divert the topic. That guy was not a robber. he was just insane. he was angry, i guess. Atleast he could have kept a sorry note and the money for a new helmet lock in my bike cover. (Then, I would hav thought, wow, what a human being.)

regards, N

And another question for him:

What if he would have kept a sorry note and money and someone else would have stolen that?

Here comes the reply:

Our robbers are not so intelligent. And the guy who has broken my helmet lock is not a saint.

We had a great laugh when my friend forwarded this out! Hope you guys will enjoy it too

Some stale jokes....Read it @ your own risk

A few years back I got an airtel connection which gave you 4400 free sms as long as you feed it with 44 bucks every month. Soon it became a craze for me to finish the 4400 ‘free’ smses. Sadly I haven’t been successful in finishing up the stipulated quota. I collect the phone nos. of every old pals and send them the stale jokes even if they beg, cajole and threaten me not to do so. I even love to send smses to people without revealing my identity. It simply drives them crazy. I have been thinking of sharing with you guys some of the samples I got in my mobile. I feel sorry that I am not able to sms you the jokes although I would be happy to do so. There is no feeling as good as the one you get when you sent it out an sms. MALAYALAM **1**Leader passes away. Mimikry artistukalkku theera nashtam. Oru Pradhana characteruneyaanu nashtamayathu. **2** Dubail oru lelathinnu 3 mallus poyi. 1 from Kottayam, 1 from Malappuram, 1 from Thrissur. 3 perkkum lelam pidikkan pattiyilla. They are informing their house Kottayam: Appan aano? Oh enna parayanna. Mudinja oru lelam aayirunnu. Njaan 10 inu villichappo avan 20 nu ketti villichu. Angane poyi poyi njanangu ittechu ponnu. Phone Bill-20 Dirhams Malappuram:Uppaa…Enthoruddukkathe lelanu. Oon 10 nu villichappa njamallu ketti 20 raakki. Pinnem aa bedakku pidichon ketti villichu. Pinne kettippe njamade kshema kett, Njammal ingadu ponnu Phone Bill-25 Dirhams Thrissur: appanaa, Jose aanu, Lelam oombeetta Phone Bill-1 Dirham Thrissur Rockzzz **3** Sex il pala sthreekallil pala reaction Velakkari: Vegam cheyyu kochamma varum Ayalkkari: Pathukke cheyyu shabdham purathu kellkum Kamuki:Kurachu koodi cheyyu. Novikkalle Bharya: Fan il enthu mathram azhukkanennu nokkiye! HINDI **1**why boys call girls ‘item’. Because item means ‘maal’.Maal means paisa. Paisa means Laxmi or ladki ghar ki laxmi hoti hain, to hui na ITEM. ”Rishta wahi soch nayi” **2** Mohabbat ko math chupao, usse zaroorat hai jatane ki. Pyaar ko math chupao, usse zaroorat hai dikhne ki. Perfume math lagao, thumhe zaroorat hai nahane ki. **3** Ladki waala: Beta drink karhe ho? Ji Han! Cigarette? Har Roj! Jua? Bilkul Danga-fasad? Aadat hai Tho koi positives hain ladke mein? Hain naa…HIV +ve ENGLISH **1**Q: How to kill an ant Ans: Mix chilli powder with sugar and keep it outside ant’s home. After eating ant will search for water. Place a water tank somewhere near. Push the ant into it. Ant will search for a fire to dry himself. Place a bomb near the fire. Ant will be seriously injured and will be admitted into hospital. There remove the oxygen tube from the ant and it will die. **2** Dad: what about your exam results? Son: I failed in 5 subjects. Dad: From now on, don’t call me’ dad’ Son: Aww come on dad, it’s just a class test. Not a DNA test **3** An explorer finds himself surrounded by tribal natives. He prays aloud, ‘God I am in trouble’ Heavens open up and in a majestic voice reply comes,’No you are not. Take that huge stone and slay the chief’ The explorer obeys. The voice comes back ‘Now you are in trouble’ **************************************************************************** I landed in a big embarrassment today. The laptop had complaints with its motherboard a month back. I got it repaired and today morning the lap went on a sudden strike. I thought it must be the motherboard again. I marched off to fire the repairman. Sadly it was a lady in the service section. She took out the battery, gave it a blow and restarted the laptop again. I grabbed it from her and closed the laptop. She found it strange. She gave me a lecture on how to handle the machine judiciously took it away from me and opened it when she found a majestic lady in her glorious semi nudity. She silently handed it back.